lab 01 · cooking X
the cleanest pump pills on the market
1Pipill 11Lllab 15Phpure 96Eta96% 120Mimint 10Neneon

he cooks pump pills. 96% pure.
one pill and the chart goes green.

meet the chemist. he used to teach chemistry at school. then he saw that crypto was full of weak pump made by random guys in basements, so he built this lab and started cooking his own pills. 96% pure. every coin that takes one goes up. nobody else can cook it this clean, and he knows it.

Buy $PILL X
CAlab results pending
REC · CAM 01
00:00:00
LAB 01 · REACTOR ROOM
PURITY 96.2%
pill-cam · closed circuit · tap the screen
Follow the lab
pills poked 0

01Hw How it works

three steps. that is the whole business.

STEP 01
He cooks

every night he cooks a fresh batch of green pills in this warehouse. only he knows the recipe, and he is not writing it down.

STEP 02
He checks

every pill gets held up to the lamp. if it does not glow, it goes back in the pot. nothing under 96% leaves this lab.

STEP 03
The chart goes green

you hold $PILL, the coin takes a pill, the chart goes up. that is the only thing these pills do, and they do it every time.

02Rl His rules

six rules on the wall of the lab. he wrote them himself.

RULE 01
No half measures

a batch at 80% is not a batch. he pours it into the sand and starts again. his name does not go on anything weak.

RULE 02
Green means pure

anyone can make a white pill. his pills glow green, and when they glow in a dark room everyone knows exactly whose they are.

RULE 03
Say my ticker

people used to call it "the green stuff". he made them say $PILL out loud, slowly, until the whole warehouse heard it. now everyone says it.

RULE 04
Nobody cuts the product

one dealer mixed a batch with sugar to double the bags. the pills stopped glowing and nobody bought from him again. he sells car insurance now.

RULE 05
The lab stays dark

the only light in here comes from the pills. he says that is enough light to read the scale by, and the scale is the only thing worth reading.

RULE 06
Never stop at 96

96 is where he started, not where he stops. he already has the numbers for 99 in his head, and he is not sharing them.

03Ln Lab Notes

one green pill held up to the lamp
exhibit a · the pill
One is enough

one pill is all a coin needs. he checks every single one against the lamp before it leaves. no glow, no sale. that is why nobody has ever seen a dull one.

CAM 02
FRESH BATCH
exhibit b · the bowl
Fresh out of the pot

this is what a fresh batch looks like. green smoke, warm glass, and a bowl that lights the whole room better than the lamp does. he cooks the first batch of the day before the market wakes up.

CAM 03
PACKING
exhibit c · the bags
Packed by hand

every bag is counted twice and sealed by him. he does not trust a machine to do it, and he does not trust anyone else. the bags leave at dawn and come back empty by lunch.

04Sp Spec Sheet

the chemist, holding one pill up
Batch analysissample #0096 · lab 01 · signed
Purity
96.2% and climbing with every batch. he will not call it 100 until he gets there himself.
Supply
one billion pills. all cooked in this lab. there is no second lab, and anyone who says there is sells sugar.
Liquidity
burned. in the same pot where he cooks. he lit it himself and went back to work.
Tax
0 / 0. he does not take a cut. the pills sell themselves, and he is not in this for the fees.
Ownership
renounced. the lab belongs to the lab now. he just keeps the lights on.
⚠ handle with gloves · keep away from dull coins · contents glow